Satanic Ice Cream

This new product appeared on the scene in early 2016 - I say new product, but really it's just a new flavour of Street's existing Magnum ice cream range, endorsed by none other than celebrity chef Manu Fieldel (from My Kitchen Rules and formerly Ready Steady Cook).

The original Magnum

Magnum typically markets to women... If you recall their earliest ad campaigns then you might remember that they featured images of seemingly single women all alone in their elaborately decorated lounge rooms (leather settees, velvet curtains and mahogany paneling - you know, rich, decadent) indulging in the magnificence that is the Magnum ice cream.

Made from only the best quality chocolate and the creamiest, smoothest vanilla ice cream, the Magnum, which was much bigger and better than its closest rival, the humble No Name Brand chocolate covered vanilla ice cream, was an immediate success with women everywhere. Unlike the no name brand ice cream, whose chocolate was only a millimeter thick and the kind you buy from the baking section of the supermarket, and whose vanilla ice cream was more anti freeze than actual ice cream and not exactly vanilla flavoured as I recall, the Magnum provided people with a Choc Top experience in their own living rooms.

The name itself is representative of what the marketers are trying to achieve with it - a Magnum Opus is a musician's finest work, a Magnum Gun is a pistol-sized gun (although the barrel is much longer than the ones found on most pistols, wink wink) that packs quite a powerful punch with its high calibre bullets.

In essence: Magnum = biggest, best.

The longer and more satisfying of all the pistols.

But in this particular campaign, the one involving the chocolate toffee, the marketers have taken it a step further. They want the average woman to go further than just a plain old indulgent and high quality Magnum ice cream - now they want her to 'seek pleasure'.

So how do they convince women that the tired old vanilla Magnum has to go in favour of it's lump-ridden, toffee-laced cousin?

Hmm... Manu, I think you should get those lumps checked out, man.

The magic of subliminal manipulation marketing

In this ad you will note that Manu's skin has a rather unnatural glow to it... It's tinged with a God-like goldness, as if the man is not a mere man at all but something of a deity to be worshipped and revered. He is, after all, a celebrity chef, and a fairly handsome one at that, and to top it all off he has a French accent.

Appurentlee weemen find thees uccent especially appealing.

The background image of this ad is made up of, on much closer inspection, what appear to be the images of bulls. I believe that the bulls work here to represent to the subconscious of the woman viewing the ad two things at once; the first being the virility of Manu Fieldel. Bulls are associated with virility and strength, and both of these qualities are associated with a good male sexual partner. This relates Manu directly to sex here. It makes the person viewing the ad subconsciously relate him to a virile, powerful bull and therefore a good sexual specimen. The marketers are basically telling women (subliminally) that they should want to fuck him. Subliminally because the colouring of the bull images is very close to the background colour. It blends in a bit too well.

The second thing I noticed is that the iconography here is reminiscent of Satanic / Pagan iconography (there is even a Pagan God named Moloch with a Bull's head). It has a distinctly Pagan feel. Almost Satanic. Take your pick, but Manu Fieldel is less a God now than some kind of Demonic King. And witches, or pagans, worshipped Demonic Kings, and had sex with them because they were virile and powerful. And the bull is also a symbol of regality in some cultures, worshipped and revered.

The brush strokes, on closer inspection, also appear to resemble swirls of chocolate, so that chocolate here is linked also to paganism.

Interestingly enough in the ad the word Magnum has a halo over it (albeit love heart shaped) and what appear to be angelic wings on either side, extending out from the peaks of the Ms. Underneath it are the words, 'for pleasure seekers'.

So ere wee 'ave Manu Fieldel, shimmereeng King of the Deemonic Bulls, juxtaposed with Magnum, in its purely gold, angelic colouring, wearing a halo and delicately extending its tiny little angel wings. What could this mean?

Permission

I think it taps into the duality of the modern woman - she is told that while she is sexually fertile and still 'viable' to at all times to be angelic; she is guilted into being sweet and accomodating, to always put her basest desires aside otherwise she will be branded a wanton harlot. So in essence the ad is giving permission to this tirelessly angelic being to seek pleasure, seeing as the seeking of pleasure is in fact somehow an evil thing for someone angelic (female) to do; clearly, men are allowed to be selfish, men are allowed to fuck whomever they want without being branded whores, and men are allowed, in general, to be more evil than women are. So this ad is basically saying 'Good girl; seeing as you have been so good, you may have a reward.'

And that reward is Manu Fieldel's penis a special new flavour of Magnum ice cream.

Good girl, ere - suck on my magnum, babee. You weel luv eet I promees.